This is a Blog: An Introduction to the Author

Hello there. My name is Tara, and apparently I’m going to be “blogging” on Patch now. I’m not a writer, and I've never done this before. So, naturally, I took a gander at the work of some other bloggers on this site to scope out their methods and steal the best ones for myself, so that I can create the most amazing superblog of all time while doing as little actual work as possible.

Surprised? Don’t be. 

I’m a member of the Y generation, and according to like a million articles and some guy named Norman Berger, that means I’m SUPER lazy. Also, I hate capitalism.

But I digress. 

From what I can tell, it’s customary for a blogger to divulge a few personal details about him or herself. I presume this is so “the readers” (which in my case will probably consist of my parents, the person who has to edit all the swear words out of this, and a cat) can learn a little bit about who is talking to them, and decide whether or not they’re a trustworthy source of information. If it’s done correctly, I think it can be quite effective.

For instance, when I looked at fellow Patch blogger Steve Greenberg’s , I learned he likes to forage for hot dogs. As a reader, I found this to be an invaluable little slice of information, because coincidentally, I do also. In fact, the last time anyone let me near some hot dogs, I ate five. Therefore, in my eyes, Steve Greenberg immediately became a trustworthy source of information. He recently blogged that , and I'm pretty sure he's not lying.

Then there’s , who describes herself as “A SAHM who reads, blogs, bakes, and volunteers.” There’s nothing on her profile about liking hot dogs, so I immediately became suspicious. Also, a “SAHM”?  A Satanically Anointed Heretic Minister who reads, blogs, bakes, and volunteers? Intriguing, but unlikely. Eventually I figured out that she is a Stay At Home Mom, and when I saw that she had recently recommended drinking $2 beers under a beer tent, I decided she’s probably trustworthy too.

Michelle Albright, who has a PhD in Psychology, sends her children to . I’m not kidding. That’s the name of the school. HURLBUTT. Enough said. She’s good.

So, by way of introduction/in the interest of cutting through the crapcake here, I should tell you that I am an EUSOI (Extremely Untrustworthy Source Of Information.). I moved to Fairfield County in the sixth grade, went to Hamilton College, and graduated from law school in 2009.

In April, at the age of 27 and after roughly a year of epic failure (though some might deem that a conservative estimate), I moved back in with my parents. This makes me think that Norman Berger isn’t just some crotchety old man who probably sends his teenaged grandchildren out to buy his Depends before selling them to a chain gang. 

He may actually be some sort of clairvoyant genius.  

Hmm…what else is crucial here? Oh, one thing that’s pretty noteworthy is that one time I almost accidentally hit Bill O’Reilly with my car as he was crossing the street. Not on purpose. I’d never purposefully harm that guy. He’s hilarious.

Other than that, I have nothing particularly interesting to say, and will probably use up most of the space allotted to me on this blog to whine about things that annoy me. Hopefully, we’re annoyed by the same things, otherwise reading this blog is going to be a pretty heinous experience for you. Sorry about that. 

Also, it’s lovely to meet you. Unless nobody is reading this. Then that doesn't make any sense.

Anyway, until next time, try not to do anything too stupid, okay?  

I'll do the same.