Tempest in a Teapot: Candidates’ Uneasy Courtship of Women

Dear Democrats, We don't need your "help." Thanks, anyway. Sincerely, Women


[Editor's Note: This is the first installment of "Patch Back," a new opinion column written in response to our .]

Microphone on, insert foot. Sleep, rinse, repeat.

So began the latest tempest in a teapot, with Democratic adviser and President Obama administration supporter Hilary Rosen proclaiming that Ann Romney, wife of Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, hadn’t worked a day in her life.

Never mind that any reasonable adult knows that raising five children and keeping a home is tiring labor, requiring endless reserves of energy, mental stamina and resourcefulness, regardless of income. Never mind that extraordinarily successful men often point to their wives—employed or not—as the biggest reason they were able to achieve that success in the first place. And never mind that unlike what the media and politicians would have us believe, the reality of public opinion is far more nuanced than the views expressed by Rosen, former Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum or anyone else whose future depends on soundbites and headline journalism.

What’s more interesting—and discouraging—is the amount of time that media outlets and politicians spend defining and assigning the values and priorities they think “women” want. And the more time they spend pandering to what they assume are women’s attitudes toward working, family life, reproductive rights, the ethics of medical research techniques and a host of other issues, the more foolish they look.

These latest transparent attempts to drum up enthusiasm for a supposed “war on women” are absurd. Feminists want to stay relevant in an era when women are achieving more than any other time in human history (in the United States … we’re not talking about Afghanistan). And Democrats, experts at the backhanded compliment and anxious to carry over the Occupy Wall Street wave of populism into the election, are using women as pawns in a nasty election year class warfare battle. 

As a lifelong Republican and hybrid stay-home-cum-working mom, I find that insulting. Women have already defined their own unique roles because of the feminist’s favorite word: choice.

How much longer are we going to allow our political parties to hijack common sense? For example, I challenge you to find anyone who disagrees with the following statements:

  1. The government shouldn’t spend more money than it takes in.
  2. What goes on in your neighbor’s bedroom is their own business.
  3. Our tax laws are unfair, labyrinthine and punitive.
  4. The sooner we rid ourselves of our dependence on oil, the safer we will be.
  5. The U.S. Congress should subject itself to the same rules as those they govern.
  6. Welfare is a not a reasonable lifestyle choice, and it's sometimes abused.
  7. Set goals and work hard. And if you fail, work harder.

When we let Hilary Rosen’s ill-considered comment become a national conversation, we are losing focus on the issues that really matter, and not just to women. Newsflash: Women have already decided for themselves how they feel about the issues of the day. We don’t need Hilary Rosen or Rick Santorum or anyone else to elucidate our own private views.

As many Fairfield County women already know, finance is a demanding career and that's why financial executives earn more on average than most other professionals. Why aren’t we celebrating the fact that Mitt and Ann Romney made sacrifices early on in their lives so that she could stay home full time and raise their family? Regardless of income, staying home by yourself at night with five kids while your husband is traveling, finishing up a big deal or entertaining a client is isolating, hard work.

Successful families—such as the Romneys and the Obamas—work as a team. We should be pointing to them as examples of what can go right when hard work and personal choice meet in the greatest country in the world. We should not be whining that Ann never worked and Mitt is a child of privilege and oh my God, Republicans are going to make abortion illegal and put women back in 1955!

Spare us the rhetoric, please.

The women I know don’t have time for this nonsense. They're figuring out how they can get themselves and their families ahead. They spend their free time encouraging their kids to study, volunteer, play sports and develop relationships in the communities in which they live, so they can earn the respect of others and become high achieving adults. It doesn’t matter if you live in Weston or Detroit or East Podunk, Arkansas.

Kids, spend your time doing worthwhile activities instead of partying and perhaps one day it will be you that’s part of the 1 percent. It’s just that simple. Let’s keep the discussion focused on how we can help kids become successful, productive adults, as opposed to how we can maintain an unproductive class warfare battle. Because that’s why people hate politics.

And if you read this and you’re a woman, I bet you knew that already. And you’ll move on with your day, because you have miles to go before you sleep.

Lisa Bigelow April 23, 2012 at 03:21 PM
Not at all! Check out some of the other Patch websites in Ffld Cty. I look forward to a rigorous yet calm and rational debate. Thanks for reading -- Lisa B.
Rob Pulitano May 03, 2012 at 12:01 PM
That was so in the main stream. You really boiled it down to common sense basics.
Mike Jenny May 03, 2012 at 01:14 PM
Lisa: "As many Fairfield County women already know, finance is a demanding career and that's why financial executives earn more on average than most other professionals." Oh, really??? This statement is quite a stretch. Perhaps the financial reform legislation will help them find more time for their families. I'm from Missouri.... Mike Jenny
Yooper May 05, 2012 at 07:17 PM
Interesting. I made 3 or 4 comments, but this is the only one (April 21) that wasn't deleted.
Jack45 July 15, 2012 at 03:13 AM
I, for one, believe some of the writer’s items reflect a bias weakly supported by the facts. The writer seems to suggest in #7 ("work harder") that "everyone" believes each and every person is empowered (and innately capable of) providing fully for his or her needs. It would frankly surprise me if the writer believed her blessings—intellectual, physical, and emotional--were shared equally by all others. As for item #6, how to explain the overall rise and fall of unemployment? Surely the writer wouldn’t want to assert that the percentage of unemployment is due to personal "lifestyle" choices that wax and wane. Is the writer suggesting by the somewhat sassy challenge to "find anyone who disagrees with the following statements" that her points are somehow universal truths? I hope not. Sincerely, may you always be blessed with the power to take care of yourself without assistance from anyone else. But if in some unforeseen circumstance you discover that you cannot, may you be powerful enough to get out of the mire through sheer willpower and simply by working harder. And, if not, what would you suggest be done? (BTW, extra credit for accepting "welfare" when it's needed and not being too proud to do so.)


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