Some marriages end in divorce. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, odds are you know at least someone who’s been through a divorce, if you’ve not been through a divorce yourself.
Stacey Tucker got divorced in 2001. But life didn’t stop there for the author, who got engaged again in 2003. While she was planning her second wedding, Tucker began journaling her experiences, with the end goal to help women who might find themselves in her shoes at some point in their lives.
The result? Eat, Drink and Remarry, a book that began as a memoir but “soon became a hybrid — part self-help, part second wedding guide,” according to a press release sent by Aline Weiller. The book is available from amazon.com.
“I started writing my book, and writing at all for that matter, in 2004 when too many ghastly things happened during the planning of my second wedding,” Tucker told Patch. “Life got in the way of finishing it which is code for I was always too chicken to show it to anyone so it sat on my computer for years and years. In 2009, I was determined to finish it and see it in print.”
Tucker, who’s lived in town for nine years, said she felt she needed a “platform” to be considered a credible writer so she created a blog, staceylu.com, “which serves as a sounding board for all the things that amuse me at the current moment.”
“The blog keeps my writing fresh and keeps me accountable for new material,” she said. “I have grown to love writing the blog and I see inspiration for my writing in all of the small details of my day and the world around. My favorite comment to my blog was ‘you write how I think.’ That is the best compliment of me. I love being relatable.”
While planning her second wedding, Tucker said she was under “great duress.”
“I didn’t realize until much later that the problem was me,” she said. “I was young getting remarried and I didn’t know how to process all of the feelings I had about ending my first marriage, and starting a new marriage not dealing with all the guilt surrounding my divorce.
“I initiated my divorce. I thought I was supposed to be alone and miserable forever,” she continued. “Now that I had a great new man and life, it felt very undeserving. [The book] is not just a story about divorce and remarriage, but one of learning your worth as a human being. We all make choices that don’t work out, even big ones like marriage. When those big choices turn out to be ‘wrong,’ we judge ourselves and think we are bad people. That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Tucker said it’s important for people to realize we’re here to experience good things and bad things.
“It’s all a journey,” she said. “We have to learn to embrace our ‘failures.’ I don’t see anything as a failure. These experiences shape our lives and make us better for the future. I try to help people — mostly women — see that.”
Tucker said the book’s cover is pink — yes, it’s geared towards women — but some men could probably benefit from reading it, too.
“Historically, women have had a greater struggle with self-worth and low self-esteem than men,” she said.
Tucker says 2012 is the “year of the woman.”
“The next book will focus on helping women understand how infinitely valuable they really are,” she said. “That sounds very vague and life-like coaching fluff. But it will be a mix of stories that find humor in the screw-ups of life. To be able to laugh at yourself but still love yourself is an important attribute.”
Tucker said she doesn’t plan on leaving the area any time soon.
“Every time I cross the border from anywhere else, I say ‘ah, I’m home,’” she said.