Taming the Planet With Civility

One Weston woman is doing what she can to bring back decency, dignity and decorum in order to make the world a better place in which to live.

After leaving behind careers at CBS and a corporate gift firm, Sara Hacala has authored her first book, Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude & Attitude for a Polite Planet, a book she “felt compelled to write.”

“There was something inside of me that told me this had to be put down on paper,” Hacala told Patch. “There are very few books that address civility.”

The book is not a book on manners, Hacala said.

“Manners are inherent and important in civility,” she said. “But I wanted to go below the surface so I could explore values, attitudes, beliefs and prejudices. We’re all in this together. The book’s about finding a way we can live and work in a community together, locally and globally.”

Hacala — who’s lived in Weston for 13 years with her husband, Tom, and her daughter, Katie, who is in college — will be signing copies of her book at Stew Leonard’s in Norwalk on Saturday, Sept. 24 from 11 to 1 p.m. Copies of her book will be available for $14.99.

After taking care of her daughter while her husband was travelling, and taking care of aging relatives — “I was part of the sandwich generation” — Hacala said she began looking into etiquette in 2008.

“This book somewhat sprang from that, but it really went deeper,” she said. “People have manners as smooth as butter, but hearts as hard as stone.”

Hacala said her book is divided into three parts. The first part identifies that all humans are “part of the problem.” The second part is a “polite planet action guide.” The third part is a call to action, Hacala said.

“There are very simple, practical things we as individuals can do — treating people with more kindness, generosity and compassion,” she said. “Everything we do can contribute positively or negatively [to other people’s experiences].”

If you’re driving and cut someone off on the road, Hacala said, it affects that person, who might do the same thing to someone else, who then might then do the same thing to someone else.

“Acts of kindness have the same kind of ripple.”

Hacala said her book includes a “great deal of research in social science.” Where possible, she said, she alludes to proven research in terms of how being civil “can make you happier and possibly make you live longer.”

Hacala said she wrote the book for an adult audience, but that “it really can appeal to everyone, high school age and up.”

“A lot of these practices should be used by parents raising children,” she said. “Parents are no longer holding kids accountable. For the most part, children are not told how to behave appropriately, nor how to develop relationships with others.”

It’s important for people to be aware of other cultures, where behavioral norms shift, Hacala said.

“Respect the boundaries of others,” she said. “Civility is respecting other people’s behavioral codes and norms and knowing them.”

For more information, check out the book’s website. Click here to read a review of the book, written by Geri Spieler, for the New York Journal of Books.